12 Days of Holidays from the Heart 2019 has concluded- thank you to everyone who followed along! Here are our 12 tips on navigating the holidays from the heart, compiled into one post. Let me know which tip resonates with you in the comments below. Stay nurtured and grounded this season. I love you!
Navigating the holidays from the heart…
Tip #1: Do what you want to do, not what you think you have to do. Truly, you get to choose. You get to decide how you spend your minutes, your days, your holidays. Regardless of what the voice inside your head is telling you- “What would people think?” Regardless of external opinions- “You’re leaving the country over Christmas and we won’t see you??” You. 👏🏻 Get. 👏🏻 To. 👏🏻 Choose! You create your life and how it looks. Move past the ego mind, move past outer opinions. Sink deep into your heart. And ask yourself… What do you 💕want💕 to do this holiday season?
Tip #2: Be kind to yourself. You are kind to the clerk at the grocery store. You are kind to your children. You are kind to your friends. Extend self-kindness as well. You deserve as much love and kindness as everyone else. Remind yourself you are doing great. Tell yourself ‘thank you’ for everything you are doing. Forgive your mistakes and move on. Be as kind to yourself as you are to everyone you love.
Tip #3: Find quiet. Music, lights, decor, food- this is a season of stimuli! Give yourself the gift of a quiet moment. Alone, in the silence, connect to your heart and breath. Let your nervous system downshift with each deep belly breath. Feel the body settle and the heart open. Know this space of inner peace is within you wherever you go.
Tip #4: Release expectations of how you want others to show up for you. Expectations create a block in the flow of life force energy. They will almost always leave you disappointed in the end. Give those around you the gift of no expectations. If they show up grumpy/ grieving/ frustrated- not only will you give them space to simply flow through that experience, also YOU won’t be disappointed that they didn’t show up fully happy/joyful/or however you would have normally expected!
Tip #5: Ask for and accept help. You don’t have to do it all yourself love! There is power is saying, “I know I could do it all myself, but I don’t have to.” If someone offered you a physical gift, you would likely never say- ‘no, I won’t accept that’. Yet, when people offer to help- bringing a food dish, co-hosting, picking up a family member who can’t drive- we are quick to say no. We don’t want to “bother anyone”. Remember… when you accept help, you actually give the other person a gift- by allowing them to give you something- their time and energy. Which in turn makes them feel good and helpful. Say yes to help and support this season!
Tip #6: Plan ahead and set limits ahead of time. Deciding in advance how long you will stay at a family function. Renting or driving your own car versus relying on others for rides. Bring a dish that meets your dietary needs. You can have a great time and connect with people while still honoring yourself, your boundaries, your limits, and your needs. Yes, there is space to move outside your usual routine on the holidays, but you know best what you need. Honor yourself and plan ahead so you can easily do what you need to do!
Tip #7: Set boundaries with love. Set a boundary, say no, call it an early night, or whatever else you need- from a space of love. Let yourself feel uncomfortable setting a boundary, perhaps doing something you have never done. Know that growth can feel uncomfortable. Love yourself through it. You cannot control the reaction of others when a boundary is set, but you can set a boundary with love and know deeply- that is enough. In fact, your boundary setting is a gift, whether the other party sees it yet or not.
Tip #8: Be generous. The universe responds to generosity! If you believe you have more than enough, the universe will catch up. When you give, or donate money, energy, or time- believe in your heart that you will receive 10x back!
Tip #9: Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude. Did you know that a gratitude practice actually changes your brain? Regularly focusing on the good, and what you DO have, instead of what you are lacking, shifts your mindset, energy, and your life in a positive direction. Look around you. What are 3 things you can feel grateful for today, in this moment? Identify what you are grateful for… then identify why you are grateful for them. How does this thing/person/experience make you feel? Feel into that energy and hold it close to your heart so you can attract in more!
Tip #10: It’s supposed to be fun 😉 When the stressors of having everything planned, organized and “perfect” start creeping in… Remember- this is supposed to be fun! Take a breath, relax, see the big picture. The turkey will get on the table eventually. No one will notice you forgot to add the slivered almonds to the salad. You ran out of tape for presents and had to use electrical tape- oh well! Let go of perfect. It doesn’t exist… and you can’t read people’s minds, so you wouldn’t know what “perfect” means to them anyways. Your guests would much prefer to spend time with a joyful and at ease version of you- even if that means dinner is on the table an hour later than usual. 😉
P.S. If you’ve just now realized the things you have planned and are doing are indeed not fun or enjoyable for you, go back to Tip #1!
Tip #11: Feel all the feelings. Tune into yourself and feel what you need to feel. The joy of the season. The happiness of smiling children full of wonder. The grief of moving through your first holiday without someone you love. The frustration. The anger. The despair. Let yourself feel it all. You’re strong enough, I promise you. And sometimes being strong means giving ourselves permission to feel weak. Or feel low. Or feel bad- even during a season that is meant to spark joy and love. If you hold space for yourself to feel, you will be surprised how quickly that emotion moves on- if you’ll be willing to really see it, and feel it, for a moment.
Tip #12: Spread love. You are love. At your core, your essence- it is love. Within you is the most beautiful and high vibration of pure love. Tap into this. Open your heart. Move past the fears and the ego mind telling you to close down, shut your heart, keep it locked away. You have within you an incredible well of kindness, goodness, joy, compassion, and love. This is your gift to give. First, give it to yourself. Then those around you. Then to your community. And you will be amazed to see how far across the world (and beyond) this love can spread. <3
As my father would say… Peace, love, and joy to you all!